HEY... I tried registering for the M net thingy. but failed. I guess that's for residents only...oh well...

But I've checked the most recent voting results...(selective only)

Best New Male Group
-Shinee (leading by 625, 908 votes currently)
-2PM (second 255, 154)

Best Male Group
-DONG BANG SHIN KI (leading by 569, 015 votes currently)
-Big Bang (second 434, 542)

Best Female Group
-Wonder Girls (leading by 463, 368 votes currently)
-SNSD (second 395, 818)

I can't read anymore... all Korean... Credit Mnet

Confessions of The Selfish Girl

They said I was selfish. But I'd say, I'm just feeding my pride. What a selfish answer. Oh my. Nobody gives me a chance to explain. Nor time. Attention-seeking? No. The need for explaination is so much that it turned into something as rare as a jewel. But when given real chances. I won't. Too much damage done. Selfish? Selfless. Selfless to let them say that I'm selfish without a rebut. Selfish. Selfish. Selfish. I'm a boring person and I try very hard, my very best to be the one on stage. Too hard that it becomes fake. Living a lie. A selfish one? Is that who I am?

Social-ability is not my thing. I'd pay to have the talent to entertain people and put a smile on their faces. Entertain them. Yet again. Another selfish living. But a selfless desire. I want it so badly. I don't want to be alone. No matter how I look, I am still alone. All those people who told me that I am not alone. But I wanted to say. Look, You don't know me like you think you do. Loneliness is within the soul, mate. Not based on physical contact.

Myself? Selfish? Oh yes. Very. Suicidal weighs on my head quite a bit when I am having my menstruation. Frustration. Men. Ha. Linked. Suicidal is all in the mind and not judged by your circumstances or your pride. People say, "Don't think of suicide! You are so fortunate." But Dude, it takes someone to be fortunate in mind, heart and soul to say it to one who has no riches within.

So am I selfish? Does my very existence equal to the definition of selfishness? Yeah. Selfish. The selfish me. The selfish me. Go live your own world, unselfish people, and let me live mine.

My KEY is so HOT! hahahahaha...

AND HE IS FREAKING YOUNGER THAN ME!!!!!!! WHY? what a torture. even though it's only a year apart. haix.

See this sexy SHINee dance... DDG!!!!!!!



Officially drooling...

CUTE STUFF



I love you, micky oppa!!

Sorry Elaine! I was still online!!!!!!

Look at these...The way micky looks up in the first vid, my heart just flew right to the com screen. DDG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is the reason why I'm living now... hahaha... kid kid. I'm not obssessive. Elaine if you are reading this. I AM NOT OBSSESSIVE.hhahahaha...The second one is Junsu admitting in a radio programme that he wanted to marry yoochun. But i think it was a joke but micky was absolutely speechless...heex CHU AH~! Yoosu oppas saranghae!




OMG!!!!!!! Junsu admitted he kissed MICKY?? Watch the vids.. the subs quite small...too bad no video to see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The black crow and the eagle.

What shall I choose to be?
To raise myself up and be that majestic eagle that flies up high?
All mighty and strong?
Like what everyone else esteem to be?

But what if I choose the other?
The one that everyone despise and wants to kill it.
The one that populates and terrorises.
The one that reflects the dark because of its plummet of black feathers?

Why should I shine in the light like everyone else
When I could be the one shining in the dark.
Put that light on my feathers. Aren't I true to my feathers?
Aren't I not showy like the pretentious eagle?

Didn't I reveal my deep dark secrets and black heart
To everyone? Why do they assume that I am bad?
I do not pretend to be majestic or righteous.
I do not need to. My feathers shows it all.
I am black for a reason. They despise me for a reason.
I represent the truth that people are too afraid to face.

One note for people reading this. If you can't bear to imagine gruesome stuff, don't read it.

For My Christmas.

On the 1st day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Curse her to menopause quickly.

On the 2nd day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Make her eyes sore.

On the 3rd day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Burn her skin up.

On the 4th day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Pump oil into her.

On the 5th day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Make her eat shit.

On the 6th day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Gouge her eyes out.

On the 7th day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Squeeze all her organs.

On the 8th day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Pull out her hair.

On the 9th day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Sew up her asshole.

On the 10th day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Pluck out her nails.

On the 11th day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Cut her tongue off.

On the 12th day of Christmas, Santa Claus will do for me: Corrode her red lips.

Oh well. That is the best way to destress. Guess what. This cover of the cheerful Xmas song is unisex! hahahahahahahahaha.... Thanks for my grotesque imagery.

Watched SHINee Reality Show. Ep 10, right, Onew is so damn cute! I agree to what the Noona said. He is a very pure person. The more I look at Key the more funny and witty I think he is. He is one year younger than me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why??????? hhahahahahahaha. Almost feels like I'm turning into a paedo. Onew and Jonghyun are my age. Even Minho is younger than me. Let's not get to Taemin. I would feel like a kidnapper if I was the noona who went out with him. Obviously I am not doing any work. And there is 20 days left. ARGH!!!!!!!!! PAEDO-IN-THE-MAKING la~!




Well. I'm going to take a nap to be fresher later. But now. Hmmm... I was thinking in church just now. What am I and Who am I? I guess everytime I go to church I get reminded of Stephen Dedalus and the way he "denounces" his religion. I mean he was a catholic anyway. So quite related, except for the fact I do believe in my religion. But what makes me feel bored about going for Mass is that the representative for the responsoral psalm is really.............................................................. Like he had something stuck in his throat or something. I don't know. But other than that, the kids there are so adorable!

Anyway. Yeah. I think James Joyce really changed the way I look at things and sometimes it's scary to think whether it is my own voice or the memory of the book. Kinda obssessed with it. People might think I am crazy or thinking too much but yeah.

Well. Gambatteimasu! I will not let things take me down. This world is for winners and so I'll be one. (starting to doubt it already... -_-)

I haven't got the mood to study these days and there is only about 20 days left for me.
What is wrong with me? Should I turn back? Give me a sign!! All my studying these days are like super little. I don't know why. I just shouldn't attend school either. I think I need to go to some isolated macs or something. Maybe T3 Macs... Anyone care to join? heex...

Oh well. -_-