if i do it again, i shall chop my fingers.

My heart won't let me. I don't know why?
Why? Why?
People are staring.
Spirits, monsters and devils.
Oh why? Within my chest
beats the raging fire.
Like throwing stones onto the walls of my chest.
I could feel myself enclosed, cramped.
Within that tiny place.
Would you let me out?
O, you ask me.
What will you benefit?
Okay, I'll protect you, let you eat my flesh if needed.
More fats, though.
I'll give you my face. My always smiling face.
Oh sew it on. No harm to that.
I don't mind being faceless, nameless, skinless.
Best, fat-less.
I am not my own.
I'm living for the earth's revolution.
I'm living for the crows to peck at me.
Where am I? Where is this place?
I can't even see my five fingers.
I can't even breathe, let alone smell.
The words I want to say plunged its roots into the flesh of my throat.
Bloody veins like dirty strings of nylon surfaced on my neck.
No. it wouldn't come out.
My lips are sewn by the spectacled tailor that glanced into my face.
He painted me too. Like each person that has charge over me.
Grabs me and paints me. That's right.
Colourful doll.
Ha. Lovely.
Even if I can't see, smell, speak.
But oh.
I can feel. Yes! I can feel. Yes, feel, feel.
The pain from the pinch. That's right.
Will you let me go? Would you?
The inner light grabbing onto my foot, would you free me?
Darkness, would you comfort me?
Let me sleep in this nothingness.
Ha. It's all a joke. Isn't it?

goodbye.

.Rm.Ch.Ls.Fb.Rh.

Lovely family, isn't it?

No. I have to thank that foul fiend.
Her wonderful entrance into this family has been a revelation of
the nine-tailed foxes.
Foxes. You think they are females.
You are ultimately mistaken.

Thank you foul fiend.
The milky-gall males of this family.
This untidy and dreadful family.
The three best friends.
The unity of these foxes. One selfish and undeniably surrounded
by wonderful riches,
but a sickly devil, sickly in the mind.
The wonderful greed and undeserving riches
surrounds him and he closes an eye for everything.

Then comes the one with the smiling glee on his face.
The really great one with the crown prince
adored by the wrinkled.
Make countless rash decisions for, not himself,
but for the next one.

This next one.
Underdeveloped set of brains, isn't he?
Bewitched by the lovely fiend and
dominated by the other two foxes.

Lovely family, isn't it?

The three foxes with their wives against the wrinkled
and a dear mother.

'A problem' they screamed. Fingers pointing towards the
dear mother. Poor mother.
Too kind to defend.
Child too under spoken. Too weak.
The child's fault, mother.

Lovely family, isn't it?

The Prodigal Son

It is the most callous of this world.
The what-seems-to-be is not what it seems.
This family. Dysfunctional one.
What pretense. The shy laughter of the malicious facade.
The gentle flattery and strings of joyful words from
the masked lips.
Coming in of the young and driving out of the old.
The inevitable cycle of life and vulnerability of age.

'Clear' he said, 'Get away. Mine now.' he claimed.

His now? His fortunes and the circle of comfort brought unto him.
His now? His now and forever?
The white-haired and wrinkled sits in the dark corner awaits for this prodigal son.
His now?
Given to him, fed to him, bought for him
his wife and his child.
Infested by the sin of greed for life and weakness for a man.

His now? Bewitched by the wicked fiend
that veils her deformity of her soul with the gentle and kind
Oriental face.
Oriental? Weird. We are all Oriental too.
But she disgraces us. That fiend.
Oh, who am I to call her that?
When she bewitched the precious jewel
of the wrinkled, which drove them out,
out, slipping in a foot into the grave.

'Rest in peace' he said, 'I loved you both.'

His now? The death of his artists.
But why would he care?
They are his now.
The artists are all forgotten.
However, he will reap what he harvest.
The fiend and its offspring feeds off him.

OMG Im eating like the Vietnam mooncake. Weird flavour. Got charsiew bits?? yeah... weird. Adapting to it...

Look at my darrrrling...hahhahahaa

SUNGMIN oppa saranghae....hahahhaha

.Rm.Ch.Ls.Fb.Rh.

you know what? photobucket can clear blemishes or wrinkles on your photos... anyway... I have been stuck on the same tutorial the whole day. Occupied with DBSJ of course. it's bad when you have 2 printers on-display-only. Anyway, I have the urge to watch ATWT Nuke and CIS and DBSK concert all at the same time. I haven't watched CIS before (noob I know) and have been craving to watch it. But I have been barred by my Dad to watch videos. Anyway I'm here to blog about this certain person.

When you are married you have to be certain of your spouse's situation before you decide on anything. Like come on. Be practical. Money IS everything now. Lovey dovey is not going to feed yor damn stomach. And remember even if you have your name under your house, you didn't pay for the money. So whoever is paying for your "lodging" now is the master of the house. Unless you buy a house with your own money to give your now-house back to them, in my standards you are in a pretty lousy position now. Do not keep siding and be bewitched by your spouse, it is about time to look at your wallet or pocket. If it says "nearing empty" or "empty", you are not to waste your money and bring some useless people over. Who cares about the relations. It's all about the money and status. So for your spouse shut the hell up and get a life.

Sorry for blabbing too much. If people reading this don't get it, never mind. It is not intended for you. But just learn one thing. Look at your damn pocket before deciding anything else.

By the way people, I am like so damn grounded so don't even bother asking me out. My dad is always giving me the Xiao-Wan-Ji look whenever I am going out. So.... Please please please. Thanks.

Somebody did hip hop in class on Fri!!! WOO HOO!!!

What does your handwriting say about YOU?

The results of your analysis say:
You fill every waking moment with activity. You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones. You are negative, fearful, resistant, doubtful, and/or selfish. You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody! You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

OMG.... Elaine told me about Micky's new hair and she was right. IT SUCKED BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF? Who is the hair stylist? Go jump off the roof or something.... MY GOSH!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED?? If it is Micky's own choice, then....man... what happened to you? SUPER DISTURBED by the hair...

ARGH! that hair stylist...

.Rm.Ch.Ls.Fb.Rh.

HAHAHA PAJAMA PARTY is out!! here's the mv and the performance. my Sungmin looks absolutely adorable especially in the performance where he made a mistake...so cute... oh yeah... KAngin got fatter... wth... lose some weight...and yesung now quite thin. reaching DDG...hahahhaa

Sungmin looks so DDG here ... Mtv ASIA AWARDS mirror performance

.Rm.Ch.Ls.Fb.Rh.

HEY!!!!! This is me singing. How about that? Desperado by the Eagles. Please comment hahahahhahahahahhahaa...

.Rm.Ch.Ls.Fb.Rh.