It's been long since I've blogged. Today I blog because I'm feeling extremely miserable. I'm failing all my subjects and I now face a family who questions my future. What do I say?

I don't know. I DON'T KNOW. I FUCKING DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY CALLING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M REALLY INTERESTED. I AM A LOSER. GET IT? GET IT? DO YOU FUCKING GET IT? ALL OF YOU. GET OUT. I WANT TO BE A SINGER, YOU SAY I CAN'T. I WANT TO BE A VET, YOU SAID NO. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT ME TO DO?? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I REALLY FUCKING WANT. WHAT MY FUCKING TALENT IS. CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME? COULD SOMEBODY TELL ME? COULD SOMEBODY FUCKING TELL ME WHAT AM I TO DO IN THE FUTURE? WHAT AM I GOOD AT? STOP THE FUCKING JOKING WITH ME WHEN I ASK IT. I'VE ASKED PEOPLE WHAT DO THEY ACTUALLY THINK I'M GOOD AT. BUT THEY FUCKINGLY JOKED WITH ME. YOU THINK IT'S FUCKING FUNNY EH? THINK ABOUT IT IF YOU FEEL LOST THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE. NO GOALS. THEY SAY SET YOUR GOALS TO LOOK AHEAD. SET WHAT FUCKING GOALS WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE ONE. WHAT GOALS? WHAT AMBITION? ALL THESE FUCKING CRAP. IN THE END IT IS ALL ABOUT EARNING THE MONEY TO SURVIVE. TO CRAVE FUCKING ACCEPTANCE FROM EVERYONE. WHAT THE FUCK. LIFE'S LIKE THAT AND TO TELL YOU ALL, I'VE SIMPLY HAD IT. I HAVE GONE INSANE I GUESS. I NEED MEDICAL HELP OR MAYBE COUNSELLING. I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF AND JUMPING ALL THE TIME. I FEEL LIKE DROPPING DEAD SUDDENLY. I FEEL LIKE FUCKING HELL EAT SOME CYANIDE OR SOMETHING. I'M FRUSTRATED. I'M FRUSTRATED WITH NO MOTIVATION. I HAVE NOTHING TO PUSH ME. NOTHING. HAVE YOU FELT SO UNMOTIVATED AT ALL? HAVE YOU? HAVE YOU? HAVE YOU? THEN YOU HAVE NO FUCKING FUCKING RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING TO ME. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TRY HAVING EVERYONE TELLING YOU WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG. TRY HAVING EVERYONE TELLING YOU THAT YOU CAN'T. TRY HAVING EVERYONE TELLING YOU THAT YOU'RE FUGLY. TRY IT. TRY IT. TRY IT. TRY IT. IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN FACING THIS KIND OF FUCKING CRAP THEN YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMMENT ON ME. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES. I HATE LIFE. I HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE THAT IS FUCKING REJECTING WHAT I WANT TO DO. RIDICULOUS TV SHOWS THAT ASKS YOU TO FOLLOW YOUR FUCKING DREAM. WHAT DREAM. WHAT DREAM WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE. WHAT CRAP SHOWS. FUCKING HELL.

JUST DIE ME.