hey... I have chanced upon funny video.. watch... and chill.


and some touching ones...

.Rm.Ch.Ls.Fb.Rh.

I'm so damn fucking pissed. First, I try to make a blog for my project work, I can't change the fucking blog skin. What the hell? Why did blogger changed the way to change the template, what the hell is end tag or root element.

I am not a computer person and yet I have to go through all these freaking PROBLEMSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

I then tried Tripod. It's so difficult and complicated. Isn't it better to be much straightforward? What the fuck.

Why can't blogger stay as it is. The google account thing is cool but the way the Html thing works is just fine. WHY CHANGE IT!? ARGHH!!!!!!

I hate the school computer. It sucks. I am currently in school trying to fix up a blogskin for my project blog but the stupid computer would not allow it to be saved and the skin that I wanted to put in was the same as the one I'm using now.

Suck man. I'm trying to put it and get it done by today so by tomorrow, I can upload my work for presentation on Tuesday. Who knows that the school computer don't allow and I have to do it at home. How irritating is that? I've been trying it for like more than an hour and what do I get, nothing. So annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey...It's like 2 am. And I'm still doing the summary for my research for GP. I already want to sleep but I didn't finish. Anyway, just want to pop in to show this photograph taken of a live "prehistoric" shark.

This photo is taken from the NationalGeographicChannel.com, which I found it so cool so I decided to put it up to let others to chance upon it. It's like so rare... and yet they could still find it...SO PRO...

.Rm.Ch.Ls.Fb.Rh.

Hey... now is like 3.30am, and I drank coffee so I am wide awake... Copying Chem notes and watching Youtube. I'm not even doing my GP project. I was thinking next time in school then I do...Which is tomorrow.

I was searching for this for very long... so cutesy>>>>>! I like 小鬼 best. He is like so cute...!!!



Singapore went to censor it....I was so sad...but even after seaching for it...I chanced upon this one...




Oh my gosh!!!! I think if they were really gay, I don't mind. Cause I think they look good together...HAHAHAH...But many girls will cry to their deaths or something while I rejoice because they are so cute together...

HAHA...sound so wrong...

I was researching for information on my Project work for GP. My topic was Environmental Issues and specifically on pollution and animals extinction.

I am almost on the verge of tears when I researched on the extinction of animals. I went to view images of poaching, shark's fin and especially bear bile.

I know more of bear bile because I went to a sort of exhibition and the person explained about it. I want to make it known through my blog that the extracting of bear bile is torturous and bear bile can be replaced by other herbs to cure whatever-shit illnesses people think it cures. When the buying stops the killing can too.

First they capture the bear and keep them in like, freaking small cages, where the bear is like, totally trapped and unable to move around. Then its captors overfeed it to bloat the bear. Obviously the bear becomes very huge. then they poke a sort of stick through its belly, to where the bile is and then let the bile sort of drip out or something. And that's how they collect it. It is not only sickening, it kills the bear slowly and in much of Freaking-hell pain. I think the bear stays there for like maybe months before they really dies.

When I first heard it, it is too depressing. Did I ever mention it on the blog? Never mind, I'm mentioning it now!!!!!!!!!

Okay. I have to do GP and Chem.

WHEN THE BUYING STOPS THE KILLING CAN TOO!!!!!!!!

Stop eating shark's fin.

In school today, I felt better than what I was feeling before. In fact, I was much happier. But when I thought I would not feel depressed again. I was so wrong...

After dinner at Junction 8, my parents insists that I should buy clothes for the wedding dinner. At first I felt all right. But after a while, my head started to feel blank and heavy. I was irritated by the fact that I cannot fit into any single clothes and that I cannot fit into any style, or that it is too expensive. Then I realised how FAT I was.

I was so frustrated that the feeling of being depressed came again. I almost wanted to cry. But I was at J8... I really hate shopping. SHOPPING SUCKS SHOPPING SUCKS SHOPPING SUCKS SHOPPING SUCKS SHOPPING SUCKS.

I don't know why. I just feel somewhat frustrated and wanted to go and die... especially the shopping for clothes. The picking of clothes is tiring enough. But the trying out of clothes demoralises me and keeps me exhausted and irritated. I really don't like shopping.

But eventually, I got over t and tried some on ahnd bought it. Not I. But my parents paid for it. Come on. It's only a wedding dinner...I've already have had nice clothes to put on for the dinner that I have only worn once. But no...We need to buy...

Today, in Lit. class, we had this excercise to recall an angry or sad incident. Immediately, I thought of what happened yesterday. After that we were asked to focus on a box as our object of anger or sadness. I went up and said,'I wish you would just go away.' I was talking to myself who is extremely low-self-esteem. I wanted to kick, smash, punch the box. Which I refer to as the other me. I want to get rid of it. I want to be more confident in what I want to do. but somehow, whenever I start off nicely, something just bugs in the way.

Haix...Never mind. I have GP to finish.(-_-)

I just came back not long. My head is empty, my homework not done.

I just returned from dinner. Next week I'm going for a wedding dinner, so I'm supposed to go buy clothes. But nothing suits me. All the shop caters to thin people, fair and smooth skinned people, people with great figures. Not me.

My whole family bought something and yet I have nothing to buy. I couldn't even walk into the shop feeling so demoralised just by looking at the limited size, and the prices. When I was in the shop I wished I was at home. Now I am having a severe headache I can't even type properly.

I stood outside of the shop looking at the ants crawling. I was really not in the mood for anything. I almost wanted to cry again. I feel like missing school tomorrow. Or just DIE.

The whole day, I just felt like crying. I walked with no energy. I couldn't even open my mouth to speak. It is just too tiresome. I don't know why I am feeling this. It is unbearable. Life is so unbearable. Just now at the HDB Hub, I was on the ground floor looking up at the second floor thinking how nice it was to just jump down from there and die.

I don't know. Suicidal thoughts just kept coming. It's like I don't belong anywhere. Really don't know what to do.

I think I am sinking into depression. Yesterday and today, I could not smile at all. Today worse.

When I woke up I was so depressed that my family thought I was angry and started scolding me. I controlled. They say I think that the whole world owes me and that I am very pissed. I am not pissed. I'm just depressed. And they even reprimanded me for being that. After that I kept thinking of sliting my wrist, hanging myself on the noose, gas myself in the house. All sorts of suicidal thoughts just ran through my head. I was even on the verge of tears when I was in the coffee shop. Yet they don't understand.

Even in church, they don't understand. I am not angry and yet my mom can tell me, 'If you are unhappy you can GET OUT of the church right now.' How would anyone so depressed would have felt? I was totally hurt and immediately all the tears that I controlled throughout mass came down. I was crying like shit and people actually turned around to look at the sniffing me. I wanted to strangle these people to death for no reason.

Even after the church, when we're on the way home, in bus 238, my mother can still ask me,'You think the whole world owes you is it? If you continue to show black face, you shouldn't have came.'

And that was even after I cried so terribly in church. I felt so hurt, ( even typing this hurts that I am crying ). I didn't think that they would think that I am like that. At that moment even until now, I still felt that they were unfeeling and at this point of time, I am not one of them.

I feel so alone in this world. My friends don't even seem like my friends now. I don't know how to say. I feel like dying is my only choice. I don't know why I feel this way. I keep asking myself why I am so depressed today, and yet I myself couldn't answer that question alone.

I don't feel that I belong to this family or this world at all. My family cut me short whenever I want to say something, and they say I am too long-winded, too repetitive. Fine. Then I cannot say anything that I want then.

Singapore restricts my freedom of speech and now even my family does that? Where is my respect now? Maybe I don't even deserve respect. To them I am not a human. I am just a stupid piece of shit clinging onto their wonderful lives.

There is no purpose in life then? For me? No goals? No ambition? No life?

Even in school now I don't feel comfortable. I don't know why.

Shopping is not my kind and yet my family expects me to appreciate it. They want me to buy clothes, and when I refuse to buy, they think I am pissed. I don't like it at all... I feel so rejected, so unwanted, so lonely, so left out. Everyone around me seems so good. They can portray themselves to others. They can let out their personality. But somehow, I can't. I have nothing to talk to people about and I'm boring. I don't know what I really like and what is important to me. I don't know anything about myself. Even when I do surveys about myself, I don't know what I am answering. Is it the truth? Even I don't know.

I really feel like dying. On my way home I couldn't be bothered to look at the incoming cars. I was waiting for a car to just bang me. But nothing came. I don't know why I am in this world.

I feel so stressful living. I feel meaningless. I feel like I am so useless. Even friends and family shuns.

LET ME JUST DIE.

In school using the Computer...

Later I have Tutorial...sianx (-_-)zzZ... Haix... yesterday actually want to do work one... but watch television and slept only. So suck.. I came home at about 6.15pm... after Chem Prac. I was like dead tired but I still go on watching television, telling myself that I would do my work later. Then I went to sleep for a while. Even watching Inuyasha and Get Backers I also fell asleep. I thought sleep for a while would make me energetic for tomorrow...RUBBISH...

I woke up the next morning.. which is today... So suck..

American Idol yesterday was the MUST-WATCH... It was the funniest yet. The one with the 'Massive Eyes' thought he had a good voice. Oh gosh. (-_-""") spare us please. Some even went on to perform other stuff other than singing which was quite ridiculous. You are there to sing, man. But they have the courage to do stupid things on National Television is great..

I miss 4 Endeavour. i suggested to Sophie they all for a get-together sort of thing but they all said... " I don't think they would turn up. Besides, they all are hard to find...They said something like that... I can't recall what but the answer is no. Haix... but I missed 4Endeavour dearly... I keep thinking of having a get-together but it seems that no one has the time to go out.

The funny thing is that when I want to go out, nobody wants to. Especially when I am not the Go-out kind. Man, so sucky. I hope if any of the 4 Endeavour '06 reads this please tell me. but I don't think anyone reads anyway... Haix...

I know I haven't been studying... haha... well, watched the first part of American Idol. It's still showing. Gosh. There were many FORGETFULLS, OFF-PITCHERS, NON-MELODIOUS peeps. But SCREAMING people increased..hahaha... It's damn funny.

I love American Idol. It's just so funny. Singapore Idol so-so only... Not fanatic for me...comments relatively average to me...

Simon is like so EVIL. As usual...There is still another episode tomorrow...GOod...Seacrest is so HOT!!! ahhahahahaha

Well, Got to go.. Can't wait for OG lunch Tomorrow...

TA DA~!

Hahaha. pretty proud of this. I adapted it from the Peterpan Fairies comic and changed it a little... Cute? DUH.... Shit I'm being so 'BHB'. Yeah. My literature cover page.

By the way. 0737 Rocks! We're like only 14 people in the class...the last class with 9 different combinations of subjects. But already we are quite bonded. And it was Elaine's birthday today. Happy birthday....

I hope I get to stay in NY...But results ...I don't know...HAIX>>>>>>>....( >_< )

Signing off now. Got to go be a NERD. (-O-O-)

.Rm.Ch.Ls.Fb.Rh.

Hey... I've finished drawing some stuff to put here...hahahha... though I'm supposed to be compying my timetable now. But I'll be doing that after this. hahahaha

.Rm.Ch.Ls.Fb.Rh.

[this was supposed to be posted yesterday but there were too many photos I wanted to put so hahaha...] Hey hey.... I went out today and took some pictures. I was SO NOT PHOTOGENIC... felt a little inferior taking those photos with my friends. But nonetheless...

I took everyone except Sai Gin. I don't know why but she looked upset and moody. So she left halfway. (..>_<..). I hope she's better...Nothing much today. Went out with my buddies, talked and took lots of PHOTOS!!! I'm showing them...

Hey... I've changed the blogskin!! Cute, huh?

Well, I've been posted to NYJC. It's been fun but now it's down to studies. I found out I have a lot of catching up to do in H1 Math. I'm taking H1 math, H2 Chem, H2 Hist, H2 Eng Lit.

I want to tell you of the orientation...

The first day is separation sad sad day from Huimin. I was in a totally different Og...But after that throughout the ice breakers and ever-going encouragement of our OGLs Wen Hui, Yvonne and Sheri, my Og 1 from Pyro became much bonded...

The Sentosa trip is probably the one that really got us really connected... We went to have this race and travel to different stations. And the funniest was the one where we had to take photos with a few tourisrts to complete the station. hahahaha...

The fashion parade was cool. We were given recycled sort of materials to create a costume. And they cat walk. Lily was our group representative. She was so adorable in the dress that the few of Og 1 created!!

But almost all the guy contestants all pose as females and act AQUA with fake breasts and all. Not very entertaining. But it was relatively all right.

The third day we had our mass dances for the last time and the prize ceremony. We were given the best Faction!

I skipped the Disco Night cause it was my mom's birthday. I thought we were going to K-Box. But my mom decided to celebrate it at home...

Anyway... Enough about Orientation... I got into the Anime club. I think their activities is damn slack one. Watch anime, then read manga! done!

hahaha. I went back to school to get my Eagles award. $150. But it is not mine. My mom wants a treat. blah blah blah.... NP was having CCA so I went to pop in and gotten my Merit award. I saw almost everyone... lucky me... We didn't see Ms Balan...(why does she has to go home so early?) and Mr Fam. We saw Ms Sim, Mrs Sedhu, Ms Ng, Ms Tay, and I forget already...

I'm also in class 0737. But I'm TOTALLY SEPARATED from my Og... I don't want to. Just when I have gotten so close to my Og, they have to separate me... ( >_< )

So evil...Anyway.. the class will be implementes next week. I don't know if I will like this class. I hope the people are friendly and won't bite...hahaha kidding.

Well, I've got to go... still watching Get Backers.. Tomorrow going out hahahaha... Bye!! \( ^ ^ )/